Young Chuang abroad sudden, we have just a joke (funny)
1. One time the landlord asked me did u eat anyting yet? I said no.
she repeated to hear so u didn't eat anyting. I said yes ...
Under the old lady hesitated
landlord asked did u eat? I said no. She went on to say so u didn't eat.
I say yes ......
estimated that she was breaking down
2. just go to work soon, there's A / R calls Laicui check, I routinely asked about which company to call him
, that's a very polite man, said: "This is xxx calling from Beach Brother." understood very
happy, but as yet unfamiliar with the company's name, thinking that the first note down with the company name, to save and so to forget, are too
between Italy carried away, Shunzui people began spelling the name of the company, also put all seriousness:
"b.i.t.c.h. ..... bitch, correct?". . . . . That man was finally able to hold back anger or not, similar to
roar like me shouted: "NO!!! BEACH .... BEACH !!!!!!"
next year, do not take issue with this company has any business dealings with Khan ......
3. read language school, a buddy love to tell, and chat l esl teachers to practice English, Koumo dashing half
day, that teacher was very angry to say dont speak chinese to me.
4, working time, there is a very tall and very strong in the foreigner men like me out, I actually kind of person who looks
not interested, do not know how to say no, and finally said something: I'm only sixteen. he was crazy.
5. my boyfriend in Vancouver by skytrain ago, when a white woman wrote: I am sorry. He is directly
wrote: you are welcome. the other side are spent.
6. I am a friend of mine, like home cooking, no oil at home, went to the supermarket and buy a bottle back, opened fire, put oil, then pan
began to foam, then burn up. . . Asked back for a landlord, he bought the detergent. . .
7. for the first time with foreigners play painball, playing the kind of capture the flag. With the first play, has been followed by a look from
to run a very professional team-mate, went to the other along the way dodging the bullet base. our people are hung up, the other one got left
look at home. Hears that foreigners have told me that a lot of terminology, I did not understand. He told me to see I did not understand that:
it's easy just cover me when i go out. That said, called, a cry cover me! and ran
out, I do not know him is to let me cover him, so I did not make it clear that he ran away. I smoothly on from a box
tear down to a camp, lost his head, he covered up. The results he glorious sacrifice. When most people are hanging
, and in the next spectator. Everyone laughed a lie.
8. just arrived, got lost, asked a foreign girl, the way home
people told me I was going to say thank you to the
results that become the **** you
people face immediately white girl
......
Later, I said thanks, can not say thank you, and to now are
9. last time I do not know what angered me, so he was going to say I am: **** YOU!! but said as
**** ME!!! it to start stunned outside a moment later he said: u wanna say **** me?? OR ****
you?? halo ... I could not even fight the momentum was gone.
10. tell a joke my husband: Guoqingrenjie last year, I asked him to buy some steak back. The front of the fear he has forgotten
, give writing a note. Dinner when he said he went to buy a steak LOBLAW when speaking to the clerk two
T-BACK steak, clerk stared, he thought the staff did not hear clearly, repeated, T-BACK STEAK
PLEASE! The clerk heard, suddenly petrochemical! My husband can see where staff stunned, quickly handing me the note I wrote
to that young man saw, a letter: T-BONE STEAK! My turn, my husband petrochemical, embarrassed it!
11. a good friend had just arrived in Canada, one day thirsty to drink Coke. Go to the convenience store very loudly said EXCUSE
ME, DO YOU HAVE COKE? but my friend just to go abroad, there are heavy English accent, her, hey COKE
say it becomes EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE COCK? Owner heard Yijingyizha, and repeatedly said:
WHAT??? WHAT? last owner finally figure out that she wanted to drink cola, money, goods, after two clear, see my friends mostly
just arrived, very kind to me after a friend said not to ask other people to buy a Coke there COCK, and so is to
mistaken! I had a friend did not know what happened, but the owner explained immediately after the wait for them to find a way joints
drilling go! Later, a long time not drinking cola was!
12.?? of? waiting once with one? brother to dinner, eat big brother? after pointing? tables remaining plate 1??
circle one?? service? Health how much, all this, how much? Service? Health features twisted look at him. . . . .
my last? in, could not, reported service? Health? he wants??,? fruit serving? students go after him? unhappy,? human services? Health
will soon see me play even? fork. . .
13. I first came to see me when neighborhood kids told me what's up. I doubt I could be speaking for a long time and said,
a sentence of up? The child suddenly silent.
14. Old Black told me that was sup ....... I did not understand .... I am back, Joseph ~ ~ ~
15. first came to the door when the see a lot of buildings are smoke free ..... my heartfelt sigh .. Canada is
good, smoke free
... friends that Khan ......
16. There comes a time to the MC, ask a friend how to say in English sundae, he said, is a transliteration sundae, I Maosai Dayton
open, and suddenly it was a very confident to say .... it was not shake called nancy???? friends on the spot spray can
music .........
17. primary school to learn English at home just one day when the teacher asked everyone how to say potato in English?
very neat answer to all the students "today"
18. for the first time called an TAXI ......
other question where you from ..... I answered CHINA, also called the taxi was also surprised of nationality ~? the other party likely to
for me in the funny, very depressing to say sorry, we can not do that ..... I have a ... Greatest Fire ... how
ah ..
racial discrimination and asked: why ~? shocked the other half and hung up .....
19. my friend to do that once, she buy pizza, people asked her to choose ingredients.
she wanted to mushroom, and she said MashMaro (Mashimaro), people crazy ~ ~
20. that joke of a sound
arrived US's friends, to New York, would like to see the Statue of Liberty, but I do not know the road. Ever arrested in the street, a white
old
- Hi, do you know where is the free woman?
white old daze for a long time, hum and haw
- I ... don't know ... Tell me when you know it.
21. Write From / To write against a post at a couple of days to return to their home ...................
22. One day to go kfc, to mashed potatoes, would not say where the root cashier in bitter shouting potato sauce,
what she thought I sb,
then, Ah give me 7-8 with ketchup ........
was despised ~~~~~
23. cupping in Canada to help a foreigner, but can be easily lost, my English is not good, I explained that you have too
much fur. He laughed after listening: it is hair, not fur, fur is for animal. I laugh
up.
24. One day I live to see inserted in front of a personal photo HOUSE beat, that the landlord should be seller, who is the room photo
estate brokerage.
next day, suddenly found, have been planted around a same brand, I thought the formidable brokerage. Turn out
not feel a day, wherever he is in the seller, too NB, and have not seen the night gave the city the house
a broker monopoly ..................................... look know, Mom , the election
give ad .......... Khan
25, a friend with a gweilo father quarrel, gweilo scolded ****, he called back: DOUBLE **** ah ~ Meng
26. When my friend first came to what people do not know, so try to make friends in class, on the 1st, that a white buddy
were very good,
phone number so people want the future to make friends, then ask: HOW MANY IS YOU PHONE NUMBER?
White said: TEN. (Canadian number is 10 in)
27. there are individual to pay back the money, go to the bank that the direct transfer from where he came, he had this to say: "put my card
money to her card "
- -||...... then saw the bank's staff, the facial features twisted into a ball. . Good laugh
28. arrival, to BURGER KING for dinner, count the hamburger, people asked me not to sauce, and I said to, others
ask, what? I forgot the tomato sauce Ze Shui, and thought for a long time, came up with a JAM, people still do not understand, the last bet
gas that, IT'S UP TO YOU.
29. When I first came to the ESL, with the teacher to leave after the JOB FAIR. back to the teacher in the class to ask how?
I want to say too many foreigners. answered: TOO MANY FORIENGERS!
teacher said: YOU ARE THE FORIENGER IN CANADA.
30. When I first came to Canada when the play bar. . But also with a the United States and the United States to go, she lived abroad for quite some time
room. . . I see the way she was hanging, so I installed the handsome, walked over going to ask her for a drink, so I asked
her drink wine, she said. . sex ON THE beach ... but was too noisy, I have no idea what the bar
are Sha wine name, hear, son of bitch ... I was also stunned, and then the bar has a very sexy bartender
been waiting for my name sake, I turned to loud shouting, can i have a son of bitch ....... next. . I
not want to remember
31. One time? to the same? playing?? vote? rogers? income?, playing the English customer service? fruit more? more excited?,
last? the one I am very HUNGRY now!
that boss had wanted to? I am very angry now. . . . . Customer Sha against? I do not know that
boss? finished himself petrochemical, and I have? lying on the ground was. . .
32. to live in homestay and would like to take a bath with the landlord after the landlord said that I was puzzling to go ahead tall
means to go or not go to ah
hahahah !!!!!!
33. there are times to buy tickets, the staff asked me one way? I answered: No, two way .... He asked me several times I
answer remains the same. . . The results that people are very depressed looking at me ~ ~ ~ Later, she is still time to respond in Chinese
thinking ~ ~ ~ I interpret his meaning One way = 1? We are two people, so two way = 2
34. spur of the moment to go into town first, then attendants all speak Cantonese. I called one of the fruits (fried fritters) and a bowl of
porridge. Attendant on the near side of the cup orange juice, I thought to send, and did not say anything, have finished the porridge, fried fritters also
did not come. When ready to checkout and attendants complained about did not go to the fruit. The clerk says: your "juice" Why not drink
35. suddenly remembered another friend in the language of a small school in Northeast Columbia joke, but the boy was well-intentioned. .
class that day the little brother is coming home and seeing two cars hit, he was acting in good faith to call the police, "Hi,
My name is XXX, a car **** ed a car, I see red water, plz cal Wuliwuli come "
explain, a car **** ed a car is the car crash, red water he wanted to say
blood, wuliwuli is the ambulance, ambulance because the sound is this. . .
In fact, he wanted to say: there's a car crash here, someone injured plz call
ambulance come over. most Gaode 是, police actually listen to understand, police and ambulance immediately to
the. . . Niua! ! !
36. one of my friends said, when he was a friend had just arrived in Toronto do not know English, by himself out, fans
Way of the then called him, he said okay you stay where you are now spell street names to me, his friend a letter
a letter to spell out the "S --- T - O - P\
37. When I first came on like a foreigner found with a pencil, so follow the trend to book store to buy a pencil and eraser. Can not find rubber
asked do you have ruber. people just laughed and said let me go phamacy buy. Depressed. . . Why go to the pharmacy to buy rubber
skin, go to the pharmacy and ask do you hv ruber. Give me a box of condoms, people smiled. I would ~ ~! ! Original Canadian
rubber tube called eraser.
38. When I first came, he often said that the results you too .... my birthday my homestay mom bought a birthday eggs
cake to me, even told me happy birthday ... Finally, I soon came sentence you too ...
39. well, when first came to Canada to buy fast food, English sucks I said i want combo one, then that person
added a lot of English asked me like onion cheese Why? I do not understand the features a move that i want combo
one, then I see the portraits of Chinese people, I directly asked him Can you spell Chinese? then that person
Why
depressed for a long time I asked him to spell chinese .. speak later found to be lost than spell ............
face
40. to think of it the first time a student is to eat McDonald
results of the latter into the tight, said the word aloud: i want to this han baobao, said as he pointed
other temporary loss, my classmates was repeated n times ...
41. childhood Family with Husband do not know the difference, not long to go to school the teacher asked me "clothes look great and who buy
's? "I actually weak weak A" My Husband ".
42. have a friend who came to Canada for the first time to the steak, the waiter asked How would you like your steak
done? my friends did not understand and be told when other people point that medium, he wanted to "tell them I can not learn."
waiter looks the same as that, large please.
waiter surprised a moment and said sorry we don't have that. Then he said, small please.
waiter was shocked and said sorry wedon't have that.
friends around him anxiously, tell him that people ask you steak. He casually said, 80 percent. Clothes
servants said they surprised a moment, sorry we don't have that ............
43. When I first came not long, BMO call me introduce too many things about banking, I have always replied: "
ok, ok, ok \
do not know, then said a "sorry, i don't understand." she said a final change, "ok" and then
to hang up!
44. When I first came to Canada when he did not know who to go to school, then at noon to feed themselves. Listen to the students that a home's
coffee is very good, and then wanted to buy. Then the wrong place, ran a French restaurant, and then sat down,
point the most expensive.
meal, do not know ye pay the bill. Then see the next table there was a man of that .... bill
heard the word of the bill, called the waiter over and then put that
i am finished, bill bill ~
then made pistol was also seized for hand gestures to the woman to see that
then people scared. . . And then called both men came to my friend was scared to death
explanation for a long time before they go out. . .
45. looks like e-mail also had a lot of people out of a joke, I have this class, our teacher to give us an email, let me
have an email address under a say, it is my turn, my msn direct fluently say something XXXX round of lobbying, com, and then around
Some Chinese students
violence Khan ~~~~~
46. a bus, ready to get off them, do not accidentally ran into the next person, and then subconsciously say good intentions
think the results that people looked at me, what did not reflect, and then I realized, quickly changed to say SORRY.
47. accompany a friend to go with glasses, friends, choose between the two pair of glasses, I would like to ask "which one is pricy?" The results say
"which one is spicy?". sell glasses that woman kicking big eyes at me ...... Fortunately, I immediately corrected.
48. I accompanied a friend to buy a car, shopping day, a lot of taxi companies, leaving the phone all my
we all know, restaurants, car dealers ah ah call when customers are super fast, said the long list of East
West, just how I hear the Canadian Chuang ah well
One day the phone rang to see if BMW telephone number is called, and happy to answer.
- Hello? # ?% ... ... *#?%, It is a great day.#$%^
- Hello, is it BMW?
the other two-second pause, voice, and two (estimated storm Khan)
- No. It's Toyota and Lexus
. . . . .
the estimates and the counter at McDonald's, KFC asked where almost
49. also one of my mother. . . One night my mother came back from the supermarket by car, dark, backing up, suddenly shouted
the sentence. . . "OMG, unmanned vehicles in front of ah.." I was shocked, look closely. . . Is black in the open
car. . .
and my dad one, go to the supermarket with my parents and saw a person like South America, my father said, "You see people
buy things, do not look at price, and consequently to have to get a small car. . . . "Then I realized, it is the supermarket tally clerk,
people is to put those things should not be taken away. . .
50. pass the time, because with two different color contact lenses, the officers asked me how matter was not
said contact lens, go straight down to him
people around them looked particularly depressed
51. before, when studying in Australia, once the language classes, the teachers sentences, meaning there is no car, I
they will not go. I was studying up to answer directly: NO CAR NO GO! ! !
52. There is a female ESL teachers in writing on the whiteboard, I washed her back shouting "excuse me, sir."
she turned it "i need to consider which washroom i should go."
53. first came to CA did not remember how long weekend and a few friends to join in the fun local farmer market, over 2 days
back to school, the teacher asked us all weekend, what activities? one friend to the English pronunciation is not Christine
dimension, but also girls, simply do not know English bad language, direct Jiugen prof says: we went to **** er market
in weekend. I have listened to almost vomit blood .........
54. When I first came in time to eat McDonald's napkin and then tell people not to give me paper man had brought the Chang Bai
paper also asked do you need a pen? I Kuangyun for a long time and then go to the bathroom hand washing
55. Similarly, in McDonald's.
my first person to report. ran M record for bread. before the performance was very good, has been maintained to the waiter asked here
or to go?. takeaway meal first contact with the word, okay 思维敏捷马 last come to understand now, but the lips tight against
that direct shouted waiter "Let's go !"...... attendant petrochemical 1 second later, he simply said, K.
56. first arrived I do not know Tingshui Yue, Canada is a sensor bus, you stand to the back door can be opened, we were under a slip
car, one of the girls take the front, after the doorman did not go her foot reaction, thought, which the foreigners are so great shape,
is not because she was too thin, and weight is not enough, the door sensor can not ah, so she came a step, then a heavy
the jump (which is beautiful will our no rope, which people know someone to get off ah). . .
57. eat McDonald's, pointing to the above package point had a look pleasing to the eye, the person asking foreigners to drink what I drink, then
do not know is set, think of it, or save money, I do not drink, they said no no, foreigners also were asked a specially Road
u sure? I am also grateful to myself do not know, "do not buy, do not let you make a" hey. . . Loss of
58.? school?? forced to Sunday to teach?,? do not know that? Mu???,? pray and then get it? waiting, I am old? am
kind with livestock?? my new? health, bless his right, then, animal husbandry? put his hand on my shoulder? a bunch of #$%^$$#, I do not know
how react ~ ~ ~ I ~~~~~~~~~ old hand placed on his shoulders? mouth? O type of the
59. I have a friend, at noon to eat hamburgers, the cook asked him to add anything, he said: tomato, cheese, and
washroom (mushroom). were all sweating to the ground-_-
60. A friend told me of
his arrival to the MC, said the sentence "i want a combo 1"
hears casher said "@#?#... ...% ... ... "(because not used to not understand)
my friend said "yes"
then casher said "!#?%@#?%"
of my friends said "yes"
was behind a Chinese person could not bear it
told him "he asked you to give credit card or cash you yes-night???"
Khan
61. There I heard friends talking. With them on the ESL, there is a big brother to sit in the front row every day, especially serious lectures,
Then one day the teacher to see him so hard, attend classes on the initiative and speak to him. The teacher said: how are you? He said:
twenty-two. teachers put up with, said that: what did you do yesterday? He said: yes ...... from the teacher
no greater, and he had a chat ~ ~ ~
62. My friend just arrived, taking the bus. Missionaries who have a special class of friendly greeting with him, said, How is going.
He said go to school ~~~~~ what that person would not have had. . .
63. just junior high school had never been seen for the first time to the toilet and generally people who have and OFFICE in the report to the Pidianpidian
and ran, there was a white one to watch to see my aunt asked me to Gansha. . . I think that the toilet
】 【washroom is not too the point on the earth, and she said: Where is the bedroom located? I need to
pee. Look stare at me and then Aunt asked: excuse me? I especially silly to continue to ask: Bedroom, u no
where u pee and poo =.= aunt thought I would smile and say: I'm sorry honey we don't
have a bedroom in school, but if ur looking for a bathroom it's down the
hall. I was the Khan, and the bathroom into the bedroom =.=||| said
64. to the second year, I go to the store to buy shoes, then took to ask the salesperson: is this made of beef
or pork (I mean that the pigskin or cowhide), the salesperson's face to remember now.
65. When I first came to SENECA play badminton stadium, will not say badminton, and even gesture with gestures, janitor or Miss
do not know. Anxious! ! !
loudly said: i want a ball can fly, like a bird. please!
Miss a look of puzzled
doorman told me a bunch. I did not understand. The same to the friend told me: her live
responsible for birdie.
66. My uncle had just arrived in Toronto not long after the accident occurred. The police came and asked him what was happening. He said that I stop,
he not, so "BONG"! * BONG * is that the voice of a collision
67.?? soon and Dad go?? West? the following?? next door? more expensive, wanted to retire?. People??
nothing to retire, I? capacity is limited, pointing to my dad?: "he just wants his money back."
68. When I first came when the geography teacher told Mr.Saker
I called into Mr .**** er
was not pass the geographical enumeration
69. When the British first came to the bank account with a girl, a bank employee came forward very cordially, not to speak, hears the girl say "May i help you?" staff were on the petrochemical, I pulled in behind her clothes, her side head told me, do not cause trouble do not trouble. Then again they said a "MAY I HELP YOU"
70. When we first came to three lines, good friends, two women and a man. One day a partnership to market, the boys want to buy eggplant, came and asked "how much for one kilometer?" I and the other girls feel too ashamed, quietly get out of the way he pretends to not know
71. so and so, when her husband first came to English is very bad when sitting crane accidentally stepped on the foot of a white woman, the result he wanted to escape when they accidentally step on that another woman foot ... ... and then that woman will stare at him, he would like to say "IM SRY" The results of a hurry to say it became a special "IT'S OK!" then that woman is particularly loud back on him that: "IT'S NOT OK!!" All cars people are crazy ... ...
72. a friend to come to the United Kingdom are not all going to the police registered Well, my friend was not an ordinary English is poor, he said even the police do not know how. But he was very courageous, a person going to the police station register. Walking along the street, he casually caught a grandfather, would like to ask where the police said. But he is not the standard pronunciation, the police say please, the old man struggling for a long time, so he did not understand ~ hurry up: "please ah, wear hat, use gun!" Went on, also a pointer movement. The old man finally understood, and answered him: 'you want to find police? They are everywhere! "He was more anxious, and then cried" no no no, i want a group of please, they stand together .. .. "This really understood the old man, turned out he was looking for police station! So he brought a grandfather, but also on the police saying that this young man from China English is not good, he needs help.
73. a friend's boyfriend is absolutely strong, when he first came to the supermarket, people asked him to do cash back, he thought that there is money to buy things close, said to be! When asked how much he wanted, looks the same people say: as much as possible!
74. She went SHOPPERS buy Tao Erduo the swab while doing Taoer Duo movement asks the DO U HAVE CONDOM STICK? staff lost 2 huge pool of hand WHAT? my friend flew Shijin Taoer Duo CONDOM ah, CONDOM STICK ah ... play for a long time, staff understood why DO U MEAN COTTON Q TIPS? (CONDOM: condoms)
75. that one my friend, he named Li Shuo, just arrived in the United Kingdom the first two days there was a foreigner asked him: ru sure?
without thinking, still grinning like he said: yes, i am shuo lee!
76. arrival, the boys live in a host family insisted me to dinner, the result went to McDonald's he asked me what you want, I'll point. I said I would first of that meal on the line. He said OK, I tell you to eat the same. Results up Jiugen people say my brother "Number one two." Ordering the white did not understand, he and others repeated three times loudly, he was also particularly angry.
77. I have a friend just arrived, a long good case of an A × chatting with buddies that special direct, open mouth and asked my friend: R u married? was shocked when my friend next to the sentence: I am not MARY , I am SHERRY. She thought someone asked her what she is MARY it?
78. I remember the first time I was studying to enter the UK coincided with particularly strict customs inspection, her mother gave her to the side of a friend had brought a ham results are dog smell out of the office was receiving the ... ...
officer told her and then wrapped in newspaper to explain what it is that ... ...
my classmates said that leg ... ...
then that officer was startled expression his face and asked the sentence "Pardon" ....
then my friend very loudly repeated that leg!
She said I thought that officer could not understand how even the ham, but also specifically in the legs, leg gestures with a long leg is the leg ah ... ah ...
79. When I first came when a friend calls to Pizza Hut. . . His menu is super supreme above I will be excited to the phone call I need a super super me!!!! Other loss I had several times, shouted excited super super me! Each other to a loss ah. . . Spell out each other after only one year, said oh super supreme ..... no longer be what Pizza Hut
80. In line to see a student who said he just jokes trouble abroad, asked him recently what he said to the movies, and then asked him what a good film, he said two days with a film called "COMING SOON ".
81. At the time, England soon, when shopping on the road always have many leaflets, so we habitually say
: NO, THANKS. resulting in time people to the New Year's propaganda paper, and even told me: HAPPY NEW YEAR. and then I quickly answer: NO, THANKS
82. just arrived in time to want to get a PART TIME work, see recruitment of, as well as phone, I called in the past. . . At that time I first came here, afraid of phone calls. . . After the people answer the phone, as I said excitedly as: do you need a job?
83. the United Kingdom??. with the same? do interview ....
I? her hi? do .. she? ... hanging out in the cafeteria with friends ...
I?? to wonder ...? what she hi? suspended from the meal? it?
then I go? it? assistant ...
me? done? hang of? for ....
after she saw ... laugh? the ....
me? it? Chennai .... hanging out ...
84. for the first time to the supermarket to buy the film, holding the fruit Durex condom half of the supermarket across the front of a friend shouted: I found it here.
85. did not know how to say microwave oven, and then with one gesture, and then finally add "ding" sound. . . The man at first a bit surprised, then, or that we are talking about microwave ovens
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